apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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