I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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