i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
