In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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