So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
