I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
