DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
