i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
