Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
