I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
