just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
