so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Iβve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently Iβm getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize