We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
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