separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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