Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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