Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
