why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
