if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
