Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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