you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
