the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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