wanna go halves on a baby?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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