Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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