How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
