Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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