I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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