I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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