there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
