I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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