WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
