Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
