A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
