that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
