she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3