is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
