I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
