i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
