Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
