How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?