I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.