my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
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Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"