Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
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Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
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I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me