you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better