our cab driver is having phone sex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
