I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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