Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
