omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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