She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
