Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
