The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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