some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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