We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
