All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
