Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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