Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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