1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Boobs speak an international language.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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