I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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