We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
we should paint friendship bongs
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