foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
