I'm gonna have a badass scar
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
