Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
