do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
