U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
