my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
