if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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