True but thats because hes a fetus.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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