Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize