Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
