Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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