I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
