I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
