She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
