dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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