Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
