I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
