Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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