Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
