Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we're making bets on your personal life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
