I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Umm I'm too high to move.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
